To Candidacy…and Beyond: Week Five

This week was not an academically productive one, in that again I have nothing formally written. However, I have a lot of notes: I have 12 pages/6100 words of notes for this section of my lit review. I have a couple of other books to look through for this section (conveniently, 19/22 books I put on hold at the library came in this afternoon), and then I should be able to churn out the pages.

Part of my problem once again was the weather. A cold front came in and it kind of put me out of commission (at least in terms of being able to be productive) for about three days. The constant fragility of my health/body is starting to get to me. The surgery I had in December 2013 was supposed to help my pain levels; then the surgery in November 2014 was supposed to help what the one the year before didn’t. I would really appreciate not being in some level of pain all of the time.

Coinciding with my medical issues was an experience on the weekend involving ableism that affected me a lot more than I initially thought it would. I’m still sitting with what happened and trying to figure out some things. All I can say, is more than ever, I have a desire to get into the academy and take up space, make folks uncomfortable, and make them accountable for the their words and actions.

I was fortunate this week I had some really good conversations this week about teaching, policy, and art that have made me think a lot about how systems of oppression overlap and intersect. As such, I’ve also thinking a lot about white (straight, able-bodied cis) male fragility, and how I’m pretty tired of the cowardice and asshattery that seems to accompany it.

I am also thankful for the friends I have–especially the spoonies–because it’s nice to have affirmation that no, you’re not slacking off, but you’re fighting with your body (for the upteenth time). People who are ‘well’ and/or able-bodied really have no understanding of what spoonies go through in a given week or day, and I wish more people knew how lucky they had it. If I had known I would be dealing with what I am now, I would have tried more things when my body still allowed.

I also appreciate that many people want to see Jurassic World and have me come along.  The pterodactyls were pterrifying. I am also grateful for Chris Pratt because of reasons.

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