Loss, longing, and love (part three)

As mentioned previously, a bunch of stuff happened last week and as a result I thought things about said stuff. Accordingly I now have a triumvirate tricycle triceratops trifecta of posts on the same approximate theme (post one here & post two here).

On Thursday I turned thirty. Thirty, the age I not-so-subtlety mocked my cousins and older friends for turning before me (because I’m a jerk). Thirty, the age other people approach and have some sort of something-life crisis. Thirty, the seemingly arbitrary age where you’re supposed have checked off a certain number of things which thereby makes you an adult.

Since I’ve been in school since I was four, my highlight reel is pretty short. I have a bunch of really expensive pieces of paper to my name, and some related academic accolades, but that’s “all” I feel I can really credit myself with. And you know what, it really doesn’t bother me.

There is one thing I regret from my life so far. For many people it seems pretty frivolous and perhaps devoid of real meaning, but for me it feels important. In the summer of 2011 (AKA the summer of surgery five) I had the time and money to go see Rage Against The Machine play in LA, and I didn’t go. That is the only thing that I really wish I had done. Not because it would have been profound or changed the trajectory of my life in anyway, but because I could have seen a band I had loved for a long time while they were between breakups.

I do however wish I would have adopted a dog by now. But, given my state of somewhat transient perpetual adolescence and since I don’t have a yard, I don’t think it would be fair to the animal. A puppy will come, for sure, but not quite yet.

Yup, a concert and a dog. Not what I think many people would see as terribly important, but I am me, and they are not.

I do wonder what my future holds: when will I finish this degree, what kind of job will I have, where will I live, when will I get my first puppy, etcetera. Sometimes I wonder if, given the choice, if I could see what is yet to be I would want to know in advance. On one hand, the perpetual longing for answers would be fulfilled, but on the other, the adventure would be taken away. Que sera sera. I need to learn to be patient; I need to learn to wait; I need to learn how to relax.

Here’s to another spin around the sun; a year of adventures, books, photography, music, tea, food, coffee, bad puns, warm and fuzzy blankets, cute fluffy animals, and maybe getting enough sleep more often than not.

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